So if we can’t completely stop bullying, how can we help children who are being bullied or those how are bullying others?
Seeing how most bully incidents happen or start at school, how are some schools handling this growing problem? One 4th grade teacher I spoke with said they have a NO Tolerance policy at her school here in Houston. She also went on to say that
bullying is a harsh word. Most of the time there is fault on both sides. If there is an issue I would speak with both parties separately and try to find the facts. I need to know what actually happened without emotions. If in fact one student is bullying another I would send both to the office to hash it out with the principal. Parents are always called and made aware of what has taking place. If it is a really big issue the counselor would speak to both students about their actions and why this occurred. I’m sure students can be placed in different classes if the bullying continues.
Another side to this is the Richardson nonprofit counseling service, they are trying to tackle bullying from both sides. The nonprofit is mainly funded by the Richardson Police Department referral programs, government grants and individual donations. Mark Demos, a counselor at Richardson is taking a new approach: positive psychology.
There are 3 main types of bullying:
* physical; hitting, kicking, taking belongings
* verbal; name-calling, insulting, racist remarks
* indirect / emotional; spreading nasty stories, excluding from groups
Bullies
* Are often attention seekers.
* Will establish their power base by testing the response of the less powerful members of the group, watching how they react when small things happen.
* Find out how the teacher reacts to minor transgressions of the rules and wait to see if the ‘victim’ will complain. It is important that teachers are vigilant and consistent.
* Bully because they believe they are popular and have the support of the others.
* Keep bullying because they incorrectly think the behavior is exciting and makes them popular.
* If there are no consequences to the bad behavior; if the victim does not complain and if the peer group silently or even actively colludes, the bully will continue with the behavior.
Victims
* Often have poor social skills.
* Lack the confidence to seek help.
* Don’t have the support of the teacher or classmates who find them unappealing.
* Blame themselves and believe it is their own fault.
* Are desperate to ‘fit in’.
* View is very often reinforced by the attitude of adults in their lives.
* It is highly unlikely that they will seek help.
Now that we are aware of some characteristics that both victims and bullies posses and the main types of bullying, maybe this will help us be more aware of a child’s actions and how we can help them. Debbie Walsh from Richardson says, “We can’t solve problems just with this, but we can do everything we can.”
